The Positive Ageing Approach

There are many books and websites about positive ageing. These often describe the pluses and minuses involved  Much depends on a person’s circumstances, of course, such as having a certain quality of life.

If this is the case, some people then describe the benefits of getting older. These include the chance to be positive, to see things in perspective and, when appropriate, to pass on knowledge.

Some follow this path by being grateful, generous and giving to others. Then sometimes, as a by-product, they may experience a sense of peace. Let’s explore how they may translate this into action.

Positive

Some people maintain a positive attitude as they get older. They also have a sense of gratitude. They feel grateful for what they have been given in life and see every day as a bonus.

There are many versions of the well-known SMILE – or U-BEND – curve which shows some people get happier as they get older. Much depends on a person’s circumstances, however, and the country in which they live.

Bearing this in mind, however, here are some of the reasons why people seem to get happier as they get older. Such people often learn to channel their personality rather than change their personality.

They accept who they are. They learn to build on their strengths and manage the consequences of any weaknesses. They aim to be the best they can be rather than compare themselves to others.

They do things that give them positive energy – providing these do not hurt other people. They focus on what they can control in their lives and work rather than what they can’t control.

They are aware of mortality. They aim to be happy and live in the now rather than in some future mythical paradise. Such as when they reach a certain status, sell a company or win the lottery.

The positive ageing approach often involves giving to others as well as enjoying the moment. Laura Carstensen, an expert on longevity, explains the reasons for this in her book A Long Bright Future.

Laura has given many interviews about the characteristics demonstrated by people as they get older. The following section includes some of her quotes on this theme.

The paradox of aging is that recognising that we won’t live forever changes our perspective on life in positive ways. When people recognize the fragility of life and they don’t have all the time in the world. People see what’s good about life.

Older people count their blessings because they’ve had enough life experience to recognize them. They direct their cognitive resources, like attention and memory, to positive information more than negative.

Mentally sharp older adults show this positivity the most. Under conditions where it really matters, older people process negative information just as well as the positive information.

Increasing positivity with age can be explained by the idea that people’s time horizons grow shorter as they approach their later years. Young adults in their 20s tend to see their futures as limitless, whereas older adults perceive more constraints on time.

This shortened sense of time makes people focus on goals that can be realized in the here and now. These tend to be about emotion, or what feels good, rather than engaging in activities that may pay off much later.

Now it’s really too simplistic to say that older people are “happy.” In our study, they are more positive. But they’re also more likely than younger people to experience mixed emotions – sadness at the same time you experience happiness; you know, that tear in the eye when you’re smiling at a friend. 

And other research has shown that older people seem to engage with sadness more comfortably. They’re more accepting of sadness than younger people are. 

We suspect that this may help to explain why older people are better than younger people at solving hotly charged emotional conflicts and debates. Older people can view injustice with compassion, but not despair. 

As we age, our time horizons grow shorter and our goals change. When we recognize that we don’t have all the time in the world, we see our priorities most clearly. We invest in more emotionally important parts of life, and life gets better, so we’re happier day-to-day. 

Perspective

Positive ageing sometimes involves being able to see things in perspective. People who take this approach see themselves as small in the great sweep of history. They also recognise, however, that their actions have consequences.

Different people develop a sense of perspective in different ways.

They may have chosen to serve something greater than themselves – such as a spiritual faith, purpose or sense of vocation – during their time on the planet.

They may have been through experiences that have taught them what is important in life – such as being grateful, kind and encouraging people during their time on the planet.

They may have focused on what human beings have in common – such as wanting to be healthy, hopeful and happy – and how people can work together to achieve these common goals.

Different people follow this approach in different ways. Some of these were described earlier. Some people may also have taken the following steps to develop a sense of perspective.

Passing On Knowledge 

People who embrace the positive ageing approach are often lifelong learners. They love to study what works, simply what works – in a profound way – and, when appropriate, pass on what works.

Some do it by acting positive models. Some do it through writing, making films or using other media. Some do it by acting as teachers, coaches, mentors, leaders or in other roles. Such people often follow the principle that:

The learner learns what the learner wants to learn.

They therefore aim to work with motivated people who want to learn. When doing so, they aim to pass on knowledge that is personal, practical and, in the widest sense, profitable.

Personal – It must relate to the person and their goals.

Practical – It must be practical and provide tools that help the person to reach their goals.

Profitable – It must be, in the widest sense, profitable and help the person to achieve their goals.

Different people do this in different ways. Whichever route they take, they may follow elements of the What, Who, Why, How and When approach.

There are many ways to live life. Sometimes this involves following elements of the positive ageing approach. As mentioned earlier, it can be useful to explore the many books and websites on this theme.

Different people follow this approach in different ways. Some aim to be positive, to see things in perspective and, when appropriate, to pass on knowledge.

Some follow this path by being grateful, generous and giving to others. Then sometimes, as a by-product, they may experience a sense of peace.

Let’s return to your own life. Imagine that you want to follow elements of this approach in your own way. How can you translate this into action? What may happen as a result of taking these steps?

If you wish, try tackling the exercise on this theme. This invites you to complete the following sentences.