There are many models for helping people to reach their goals. This approach involves starting from their destination and clarifying the real results they want to achieve.
It then involves helping them: a) to choose the direction they want to pursue towards achieving their goals; b) to do what works; c) to do their best to reach their destination. Let’s explore these themes.
Destination
Imagine that a person has asked you to help them to develop. It can be useful to clarify the topics they want to explore during the session.
There are several ways to take this approach. One way is to invite them to reflect and, if they have chance, to let you know some of these themes ahead of time. Looking at my own work, I send something like the following email to a person before our first session.
The person may or may not have chance to outline the topics they want to explore. Whatever the person’s response, however, it will be important to prepare properly for the session.
This may involve doing some research about the person. When doing so, it can be useful to focus on the following themes.
The person’s present situation, the challenges they may face and their possible personal or professional goals;
The possible themes the person may want to explore during the session and the goals they may want to achieve;
The specific knowledge, models and tools you may be able to offer to help them to reach their goals.
Bearing these things in mind, it can be useful to mentally rehearse the session and make sure you have prepared properly. It will then be time to move on to the actual session. One approach is to focus on the following theme.
Clarifying The Destination
You may start the session by making the person feel welcome and the centre of your world. You may aim:
To create a positive environment where the person feels at ease and able to describe the themes they want to explore;
To focus on the first theme they want to explore and get more information about the situation;
To clarify the real results they want to achieve – the destination – and translate these into a clear picture of success.
When appropriate, you can focus on the first topic the person wants to explore. Bearing in mind what the person can control in the situation, it can be useful to invite them to consider the following questions.
What are the real results you want to achieve? What is the picture of success? What would be the benefits of achieving these goals? What will be happening that will show you have achieved the picture of success?
Let’s assume you have explored these questions with the person. If appropriate, you can help them to clarify their aims in the following way. They can summarise their main goal in a headline and then complete the other parts to give a full picture.
Let’s assume that you have taken this step and the person is clear on the destination. This has focused on ‘What’ they want to achieve and ‘Why’. You can then move on to exploring the ‘How’.
Direction
This step involves helping the person to focus on the direction they want to take towards reaching their destination. There are many ways to explore this step. One approach is to help the person:
To clarify the various possible routes they can take towards achieving their goal;
To clarify the pluses and minuses of each option and the attractiveness of each route;
To clarify the route they want to take and the strategies they can follow to give themselves the greatest chance of success.
Bearing these things in mind, you may want to start by helping the person to explore the possible options. At some point you can focus on the strategies most likely to achieve success.
If appropriate, you may also ask the person if it is okay to share some ideas. They will probably say yes – but it is important to get their psychological permission.
You can then aim to pass on knowledge, models and tools they can use to achieve their goals. It will be up to the person which of these they want to use in their own way.
You can conclude this part of the session by inviting the person to settle on the direction they want to take – the route they want to follow – to work towards their goals.
Imagine that the person has worked through these stages. If appropriate, they may then summarise their thinking in the following way.
Doing What Works
This step involves helping the person to translate their strategies into action. They then aim to get some early successes and encourages themselves on the journey. One approach is to help the person:
To clarify what works and rehearse following their chosen strategies towards their goal;
To follow their strategies, perform superb work and focus on continuous improvement;
To buy time to find solutions to challenges on the way towards achieving their goal.
Imagine the person has settled on their chosen strategies. If appropriate, you can help them to clarify how to translate these into action. One approach is to say something along the following lines.
Let’s start by focusing on the strategies you want to follow. Looking at these strategies, let’s explore what we know works.
Looking at the first strategy, when have you done something similar and achieved success? What were the principles you followed? How did you translate these into action? How can you take similar steps in the future?
When have other people followed similar strategies successfully? What were the principles they followed? How did they translate these into action? How can you follow some of these in your own way?
How can you prepare properly before moving into action? How can you rehearse following your chosen strategies? How can you rehearse anticipating and managing any challenges?
Let’s look at when you move into action. How can you perform superb work? How can you get some early successes? How can you follow good habits? How can you follow your preferred way of working?
Let’s focus on continuous improvement. How can you clarify what is working and continue to do these things? How can you clarify what you can do better and how? How can you implement these ideas?
How can you manage unexpected challenges? How can you buy time to think? How can you explore the potential solutions? How can you then settle on your chosen option and keep working towards your goals?
Imagine that the person has explored some of these themes. They have settled on what they want to do: a) to build on what works; b) to perform superb work; c) to focus on continuous improvement.
The person may then clarify the key things they can do to keep following these disciplines. One approach is to translate these into a positive mantra they want to keep reminding themselves of when doing the work. They may therefore do the following exercise.
Destination
Imagine that the person is doing superb work. The final step involves encouraging and enable them to do their best to achieve their aims. One approach is to help them to focus on the following themes:
To clarify their successful pattern for finishing and follow it in this situation;
To do their best to achieve their aims and, when appropriate, add that touch of class to reach their destination;
To celebrate in their own way and, when appropriate, clarify what they have learned from the experience and how they can use this in the future.
Imagine that you are helping a person to explore some of these themes. One approach is to say something along the following lines.
Let’s focus on your successful pattern for finishing. Looking back, when have you finished something similar successfully? What did you do right then? How can you follow similar principles in the future?
How can you keep doing superb work? How can you keep doing the basics and add the brilliance? How can you do your best to achieve the goal and, if appropriate, add that touch of class to reach the destination?
How can you celebrate in your own way afterwards? How can you, when appropriate, take time to reflect? How can you clarify: a) what you did well; b) what you could do even better in the future?
Imagine that the person has explored some of these themes. If appropriate, they may want to do the following exercise.
There are many ways to help a person to develop. Bearing in mind the results they want to achieve, one approach is to clarify their chosen direction, do what works and then do their best to reach their destination.
Let’s return to your own life and work. Looking ahead, can you think of a situation where you may want to follow elements of this approach? You may wish to do this to help a person or to apply the ideas in your own life.
If you wish, try tackling the exercise on this theme. This invites you to complete the following sentences.
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