There are many ways to make transitions in life. This is an approach that can be used to help a person to take more control of shaping their future. It is based on the principle that:
A person is more likely to achieve positive results when they focus on positive goals rather than negative goals.
The approach involves a person moving towards something rather than just moving away from something. They can be encouraged to work towards achieving a positive vision rather than just escaping a problem.
The approach involves moving on to something better rather than just escaping a difficult situation. As one person put it:
“I am running towards something not just away from something.”
People who take this approach follow the maxim: ‘what you focus on you become’. They focus on what they want to start doingrather than what they want to stop doing. The following section explores how they may translate this into action.
Some people spend much of their lives worrying about what they want to stop doing. Sometimes it can be useful to help them to focus on what they want to start doing instead. For example, they may want:
To take control rather than be stressed;
To build on their assets rather than their angst;
To aim to become the best they can be rather than worry about being the best.
There are many ways to help a person to take this approach. The following section describe some of these steps.
You Can Help The Person
To Clarify A Positive Goal
A person may start by saying that they want to stop having a particular feeling or doing certain things. They may say something along the following lines.
“I want to stop feeling stressed, angry and behaving in a particular way.”
The person may find it easier to reach a positive goal, however, rather than a negative goal. Bearing this in mind, it can be useful to ask them something along the following lines.
“What do you want to start feeling or start doing instead? What would be the benefits of taking those steps?”
This process can take time. The person may want to talk about why they feel a certain way or the difficulties they face. At a certain point, however, it is important to encourage them to focus on what they can control in the situation. You can help them:
To clarify what they do want to feel or what they do want to do;
To clarify a positive goal;
To clarify the benefits of achieving the goal.
You Can Clarify How The Person Can Use
Their Strengths To Achieve The Positive Goal
There are many ways to help a person to work towards their goal. One approach involves helping them to learn from their positive history. Much depends on the goal they want to achieve, of course, but it can mean saying something along the following lines.
“Let’s start by looking back at when you have managed a similar situation successfully? What did you do right then? What were the principles you followed? How did you translate these into action?
“You already have a successful pattern. Let’s explore how you may be able to follow some of these principles – plus maybe add other skills – to manage the future situations successfully.”
This approach helps to affirm the person. They already have strengths and successful patterns they can follow to achieve their future goal.
If appropriate, however, you can share practical tools they can add to their repertoire. Bearing in mind what the person wants to achieve, you may say something along the following lines.
“If you are interested, I can offer some ideas and strategies that people use to get the kinds of results you want to achieve. Would you like me to share some of these?”
You can then pass on strategies that work and practical tools the person can use to achieve their goal. It is important to share these in a way the person can accept and use in their life or work.
You Can Help The Person To Clarify Their
Action Plan For Achieving The Positive Goal
People need to believe in their chosen way forward, which is why it useful to build on their strengths and successful patterns. The next steps are to help the person:
To clarify their action plan for working towards the positive goal;
To rehearse follow these strategies and how they will deal with any challenges along the way;
To get a quick success, maintain the momentum and do their best to achieve the positive goal.
The key point is worth underlining again. It is to encourage a person to focus on a positive goal rather than a negative goal. They are then more likely to achieve success.
Let’s return to your own life and work. Looking ahead, can you think of a situation where you may want to follow elements of this approach? How can you do this in your own way?
If you wish, try tackling the exercise on this theme. This invites you to complete the following sentences.
Leave a Reply