Different people have different experiences in life. The way they use these experiences can have consequences for both themselves and other people.
Some people focus on how they can use their experience in a positive way. They may do this after having a setback, managing an addiction or even experiencing a trauma. They ask themselves:
“How can I use this experience to encourage other people?”
A person who has experienced dyslexia may use this to help other dyslexic people to build on their strengths. A person who has experienced an illness may set up a website to help others who have similar illnesses.
A person who has been abused may help others who have been through similar experiences. A person who has overcome substance abuse may help motivated people who want to take a similar step.
Some people take another route, however, and allow the experience to take over their lives. Whilst it can be good to talk about what happened, it may not be possible cleanse it from their system.
Another approach is for a person to use the experience rather than let it use them. They may then be able to add the learning to their repertoire rather than let the experience define them.
Let’s return your own life. Can you think of a situation in the past when you may have had a setback and then used elements of it to help other people? How did you do this in your own way?
If you wish, try tackling the exercise on this theme. This invites you to complete the following sentences.
People Can Choose To Make Positive
Or Negative Use Of An Experience
Some people may have learned to manage challenging experiences in a positive way. After experiencing a setback, for example, they may take time to reflect. They may then focus on how to shape a positive future.
Some people may have not learned these skills. They may dwell on an issue, find themselves falling into negative cycles or see the challenge as confirmation that the world is against them.
Experiences are the material of life. The way we choose to use the feelings and lessons from these experiences can help or hurt ourselves or other people.
One approach is highlighted in the High Performance Podcast led by Jake Humphry and Damian Hughes. When interviewing top performers in many fields, one theme is that:
Some individuals used past traumas to fuel future success.
Much depends, of course, on the person’s attitude, ability and their drive to achieve certain things. It may depend on whether they had positive models who helped and encouraged them along the way.
Some people believe in trying to ‘work through a feeling’. But there are some feelings you never work through. Another approach is to focus on how they can use the feeling to shape a positive future.
Imagine that you have had an experience. This may be because of something you have done or something that has happened. You may have had a success or a setback.
Bearing in mind the experience you have had, you can choose to focus on either of the following sets of question.
Positive Questions
How can I use this experience? How can I use it to help myself or other people? How can I use it to learn from? How can I build on what I did well? How can I do things better in the future? How can I use the experience to shape a positive future?
Negative Questions
How can I let the experience use me? How can I let it hurt myself or other people? How can I dwell on the feeling? How can I focus on what I, other people or the world did wrong? How can I let it lock me into a negative past?
Let’s return to your own life. Can you think of a situation in the future when you may want to use an experience to encourage other people? This could be in your personal or professional life.
You may anticipate having a success or a setback. You may anticipate feeling happy or sad, feeling in control or having less control, feeling energetic or exhausted.
Looking ahead, how can you use the experience in a positive way? How can you use it to encourage other people? How can you use the lessons to shape a positive future?
If you wish, try tackling the exercise on this theme. This invites you to complete the following sentences.
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