There are many ways to live life. Some people follow the helping people approach rather than the hurting people approach. The approach that people take can have consequences for themselves and other people.
Different people follow these approaches in different ways. Let’s explore how they may translate these into action.
The Helping People Approach
Some people learn this approach from their parents, teachers or other people who gave them encouragement. They are often grateful, generous and enjoy giving to people.
They believe in encouraging people rather than exploiting people. They love to help people to succeed. At the same time, however, they recognise when people may try to take advantage of them.
People who follow the helping approach believe in taking responsibility. They choose to be creators rather than complainers. They aim to build on what they can control and manage what they can’t control.
They are often positive realists. They have a positive attitude to life but are good at seeing patterns. They aim to build on the successful patterns and manage the consequences of any negative patterns.
They aim to follow the helpful approach rather than the hostile approach. want to help other people to get what they want in life providing they do not hurt other people.
Such people believe in cooperation. They respect other people and cultures and build on what people have in common. They also aim to find, as far as possible, win-win solutions to challenges.
They try to follow the humble approach rather than the hubris approach. They have a sense of perspective and see themselves as small in the great sweep of history.
They do not see themselves as important. They recognise, however, that what they do is important because their actions can affect other people. They therefore aim to encourage both present and future generations.
Such people believe in the together approach rather than the tribal approach. They believe people can combine their strengths to find solutions to challenges. They aim to help people during their time on the planet.
The Hurting People Approach
Some people learn this approach from key people in their lives. Some may have had uncaring parents. Some may have been taught to hate or hurt other people. Some people are told:
‘You have to make sure that you win and that other people lose.’
Some people are told that they are superior to others. Some are taught to scapegoat those who are different. They may then behave in ways that hurt other people and cause collateral damage.
Some may become addicted to anger and conflict. They get their kicks from hurting other people. They follow the tribal approach rather than the together approach.
Some may have great riches but appear grumpy. They exploit others and use them for their own ends. They follow the religion of wanting more, more and more. But maybe they will never have enough.
Let’s return to your own life and work. Looking ahead, can you think of situation where you may want to follow elements of the helping people approach? How can you do this in your own way?
If you wish, try tackling the exercise on this theme. This invites you to complete the following sentences.
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