People can have a positive, neutral or negative presence in situations. The way they behave can have consequences for themselves and other people. It can help or hurt people in the family, school, workplace or society.
Looking back on your life, can you think of a person who had a positive presence in certain situations? They may have been a parent, teacher, coach, leader, mentor, manager or another person.
What did they do to have a positive presence? What were the principles they followed? How did they translate these into action? What happened as a result of them taking these steps?
Different people behave in different ways in different situations. Let’s explore how they may behave in ways that have the following effects.
Positive Presence
Some people aim to be warm, kind and encouraging. They have a positive attitude in their personal life. When appropriate, they may also aim to help other people to achieve their personal goals.
Some people follow similar principles in their professional life. They create an encouraging atmosphere and focus on what others want to achieve. They then do their best to help others to achieve their goals.
Such people prepare properly before having a professional meeting. Looking ahead, they ask themselves the following questions.
Who is the person – or group – that I am going to meet? What is happening in their world? What are the challenges they face? What are the goals they may want to achieve in their life or work?
What are the topics they may want to explore in our meeting? How can I make them feel welcome and the centre of my world? How can I clarify what they want to explore? How can I help them to achieve their goals?
What are the actual things I would like them to be saying after the meeting? How can I do my best to increase the likelihood of them saying these things? What else can I do to help them to achieve their picture of success?
People who take this approach aim to maintain a positive atmosphere. When faced by conflicts, they build on what people have in common. They then do their best to find win-win solutions.
Neutral Presence
Some people may at times have a neutral presence. Sometimes this can be helpful. Sometimes it can be more difficult. Let’s start by focusing on the helpful approach.
Sometimes it can be useful to have a neutral presence when needing a clear head in certain situations. This could be when you may aim either:
To gather information about a specific situation – such as a crisis or a difficult challenge;
To make a crucial decision – such as when considering the goals to achieve and the possible ways forward;
To be a neutral advisor or helper rather than an advocate – such as when acting as a mediator during a conflict.
You may follow this approach when gathering information, listening to people or even acting as a facilitator. Bearing in mind the situation, you may then aim to do your best to help others to succeed.
Some people also like to stay quiet in situations before they make a contribution. They may then check if it is okay for them to take action or speak. They then do their best to act in a positive way.
As mentioned earlier, however, some people may have a neutral presence that is not particularly helpful. It can seem passive and may even be hard work for other people.
Negative Presence
Some people have a negative presence. They may express their feelings or behave in ways that distress others. In extreme cases, some people may also be addicted to conflict and enjoy hurting people.
Some people may behave in this way unconsciously. They may or may not be aware that expressing their feelings or views in certain ways can create collateral damage.
Mixed Presence
Some people may have mixed presence. Sometimes they may be positive or neutral but then sometimes be negative. This can be confusing for other people.
People may not know what to expect when interacting with such individuals. This can lead to people feeling wary, on guard or protective in such situations.
Let’s return to your own life. Looking ahead, can you think of a specific situation where you may want to have a positive presence? This could be in your personal or professional life.
What may be the specific situation? How can you aim to be positive, encouraging or helpful? How can you do this in your own way? What may happen as a result of taking these steps?
If you wish, try tackling the exercise on this theme. This invites you to complete the following sentences.
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