There are many ways to live life. One approach is for people to do things that can increase the chances of both themselves and other people feeling good.
Imagine that you want to follow elements of this approach in your own way. This can involve focusing on the following themes.
You Can Increase The Chances
Of Yourself Feeling Good
There are many things that people can do to take this step. The following section explores some of the most common approaches. You will, of course, follow these in your own way.
You Can Focus On Gratitude
This is one of the first steps that many people take. They focus on maintaining a sense of gratitude. Such people count their blessings rather than their burdens.
Robert Emmons has written several books on the benefits of gratitude. The research done by him and his colleagues has found that developing a sense of gratitude is good for people’s bodies, health and relationships.
Here are excerpts from an article he wrote for the Greater Good Science Center.
As mentioned earlier, you will have your own approach to maintaining a sense of gratitude. If appropriate, you may also focus on the following step.
You Can Do Things That Increase
The Chances Of Yourself Feeling Good
There are many ways to take this step. One approach is to do the things that give you positive energy in your life and work. It is important, of course, to do this in a way that does not hurt other people.
Different people take this step in different ways. Here are some of the answers that people give when exploring this theme.
Feeling Good
The things that I can to do increase
the chances of me feeling good are:
To take care of my body … To eat healthy food … To do the things I enjoy … To manage my energy properly … To go for walks and let my mind wander … To do my favourite exercise … To listen to inspiring music.
To encourage my loved ones … To spend time with positive people … To study success … To do satisfying projects … To do work where I go into a state of flow … To do superb work … To achieve stimulating goals.
Imagine that you are maintaining a sense of gratitude and doing things that can help you to feel good. You may also want to focus on the following theme.
You Can Increase The Chances
Of Other People Feeling Good
There are many ways to take this step. One approach is to focus on giving to people and being generous. When appropriate, it can also be to encourage people to do things that help them to feel good.
You Can Focus On
Giving To People
Many people love to be generous and give to other people. Some seem to be natural givers. Some decide to be givers as a certain point of their lives – such as when having children.
Some people take this approach as they grow older. They aim to give to people every day. Different people choose different ways to translate this into action. Here are of some ways they may focus on this theme.
Giving To People
The specific ways that I
like to give to people are:
To give encouragement … To be a good listener … To give time and support … To help them to achieve their goals … To pass on knowledge they can use in their own way.
To make nourishing food … To raise money for charities … To improve our community … To help neurodivergent children to build on their strengths … To provide arts and sports experiences that help people to develop.
Some givers ask themselves the following questions when they wake up in the morning.
What are the things I can give to people? What do I want to give to them today? How can I do my best to make a positive contribution? How can I continue to give to people?
Ned Hallowell has described how it is possible to give to people by helping them to shine. He is mostly known for his work on how people can channel their ADHD in a positive way.
His ideas also reached a wider audience with his book called Shine. This offered many practical tools that managers, for example, could use to help people to perform at their best.
Ned describes how some people have a strong desire to help others to shine. He gives the example of meeting such a person at Boston’s Logan Airport.
He saw an elderly man sitting next to his metal walker. Approaching him, Ned asked where he could get his shoe shined. The man smiled, drew himself up and said:
“I’m the shoeshine guy. Set you bags next to my walker here and step on up into my office. I am Doctor Shine.”
While shining the shoes, the man asked Ned what he did for a living. Ned explained that his speciality was to help people to make the best of their abilities. The man responded in the following way.
“Interesting. Would you believe it, that is my speciality too!
“I get up every morning, and I look forward to helping people get into the right frame of mine so they can shine, no matter where they go or what they do. When I do that, I’m happy.
“Every time you’re with a person, you’ve got a big chance. I say, don’t miss it. Don’t worry about putting out the fire before striking the match.
“I always strike the match. I want to find that spark in the person, you get what I mean?”
The man had been diagnosed with MS, but he wanted to keep working. Ned asked how he maintained his drive. The man replied in the following way.
“When somebody is sitting up in that chair, all I think about is what he needs and that gives me energy. I love to find that spark.”
You Can Encourage People To
Do Things That Increase The
Chances Of Them Feeling Good
There are many ways to take this step. It is important, however, is to do this when most appropriate. One approach is to invite a person to explore some of the following questions.
What are the things that give you positive energy in your personal or professional life? If appropriate, how can you do more of these things in the future?
What are the things you know you can do to feel good? If you wish, how can you do more of these things in the future? What may happen as a result of taking these steps?
What are the positive things happening in your life at the moment? How can you build on these things? What do you think may happen if you take these steps?
What may be a challenge you face at the moment? When have you tackled a similar challenge successfully in the past? How can you follow similar principles – plus maybe add other skills – to tackle the present challenge successfully?
Looking back, when have you followed positive habits in your life? What did you do then to follow these habits? If you wish, how can you follow these positive habits in the future?
There are many ways to live life. One approach is for people to do things that can increase the chances of both themselves and other people feeling good.
Let’s return to your own life and work. If appropriate, how can you to follow elements of this approach in your own way? What may happen as a result of taking these steps?
If you wish, try tackling the exercise on this theme. This invites you to complete the following sentences.
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